tips & tools to help you feel freaking awesome

When someone is mean, it’s not about you

If someone is mean to you or if they said something 💩 to you today, know this: What they did has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. This is so important, I have to reiterate:  It’s not about you.

The truth about mean people

Ok. Let’s start with the nitty gritty. The down and dirty. Yes, the Inside Scoop about the 💩

Truth #1:

People act mean sometimes. And by mean I mean really crappy. Like poop emoji + poop emoji = super crap-tastic. And, unfortunately, people who are acting crappy can make us start to feel like crap, too.

Why do people act mean? It might be their goal. (Not really my idea of aspirational, but whatever.) Maybe they’re having a bad day. It can even be a symptom of PTSD and other conditions.  But the real why almost never has to do with the person on the receiving end.

yellow and black smiley wall art

Truth #2:

We can’t stop people from acting mean. Bummer, but true. Bullying and other bad behavior might be on the upswingwith the stress of the past couple of years. True. But even in the best of times, some people don’t behave has their best and highest self. One key is not to become such a person. That surely has to feel awful.

Truth #3:

When people are mean, they own that crap. I’m not renting them storage space for it. I’m not even going to take their complimentary sample.  So, um, thanks but no thanks, pal. My advice is to keep them out of your headspace, too. Don’t waste more precious time or mental bandwidth with heartache afterwards if you can help it. Pinky promise?

So then what?

So given those three factoids and that we 100% do NOT want to deal with such sh!t, nor its purveyors, what do we do?

  1. We could hide in our homes and never ever interact with people. Seems reasonable for those of us who are major introverts. However, this option requires Jedi level introversion.
  2. Or, in the interest of practicality, we could go with an equally effective and way easier option: we don’t have to feel crappy. We can opt to protect our inner peace. It’s out reaction. We are the deciders.  In fact, I vote that we  just do that automatically from now on. All those in favor say “Yay.”

Conclusions on coping with meanness

If someone did or said something mean or 💩💩 to you today, know this: What they did and why they did it says something about them, not you. And, fortunately, that’s true every single day, not just today.

The flip side of that is  how we respond when we are on the receving end of mean says something about us.

The next time external mean happens in your life, and it will, remember your reaction is your choice.  We can choose to protect our peace.  That doesn’t mean we won’t feel bad, but we can keep that to a minimum and give ourselves permission to feel better. Let me rephrase that. Give ourselves permission to feel freaking awesome.

You deserve nothing less because you are amazing. Remember that, ok?

PS: If you need something to get get your head back to feeling freaking awesome, check out the One-Week Self Care Challenge. There’s even a free worksheet. 

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